The Inauguration Proclamation

I have mixed feelings about tomorrow's Inauguration of America's 44th President. While most of you will be watching either on TV, them internets or even in person, I'll be sitting in a training class in Detroit pretty much all day. I'm going to miss the whole thing. This is not all bad to me, as it gives me a legitimate reason to not actually be in attendance on the day everything changed forever. More accurately it gives me another reason to not be there. It's not that I don't want to be there, it's just that I'm afraid of what going to happen to some of the people who are making the trip. Why am I afraid? Oh, I have my reasons. And this being a blog and all, my reasons just so happen to fit onto a neatly reverse-ordered list:

5. It's going to be cold as fuck.

It's Common Knowledge that a gathering of more than six Black Folks at a time is a leading cause of Global Warming. Conventional Wisdom would dictate that Black Folks don't go outside if the temperature's under 50. That would be if Common Knowledge and Conventional Wisdom hadn't been murdered in their sleep by that dastardly cabal of Hope, Yes We Can, Change and of course Oprah. We flipped everything on its head, and that's not a good thing when you'd like for things to work the way they used to. So now a million black folks, many of whom are from parts of the country where it doesn't even snow, are going to gather in sub-freezing temperatures and stand for hours on end and all of this will not keep a single one of them warm. Pity.

4. It's going to be like a funeral.

If you've ever been to a black funeral, you know exactly what I mean. There with be tears, crying, sobbing and all kinds of bawling. In fact, this will be the cryingest group of happy folk you've ever laid eyes on. Do you blame them. How could you not cry one last good time? After Slavery, Jim Crow, Selma, Malcolm and Martin and even OJ and Katrina our Trail of Tears will come to an end. Ironically in the shadows of the monument built to honor our first president, a slave owner himself, and a halls of democracy built with slave labor we will turn our country, our future and all of our hopes over to a Black man. It will be emotional for just about everyone. Except me. I'm not big on crying while others look on. Look, I haven't cried in a public setting since Optimus Prime died and even I would probably get misty if I were watching on TV. So I'll gladly bottle up all that touchy-feeliness and wait until I get home to watch. Manliness is next to Godliness after all.


3. There's No Easy Way Out

It's easy to forget that we live in an age of information when you look at how many people don't know jack. For instance, did you know that they've closed both bridges coming from Virginia to cars? Yup, hope you're on a bus if you're heading to DC and all points North or you're fucked. This will cause a riot on 95, I promise you. And if you've made it into town, I hope you're comfy, because you're not going to be able to leave easily. Cell phones might not work. Streets will be blocked and parking will be scarce. They're calling for Crush conditions on the Metro. I'm not sure what "Crush" conditions are, but I've been on the Metro after a game at RFK, and if it's anything worse than that, I'll pass. This will cause an underground riot, I promise you. And for the people who do make it to the Mall, watch your step. There will be tons of people there dressing in something they can't really afford and really isn't that comfortable. Don't step on anybody's Obama Outfit. This will cause a riot to break out, I promise you. Yes, I'm predicting violence at the Inauguration. Well, not at so much as around. I'm putting the over/under on Inaugural Shootings at five. Let's pray for the under.

2. The Power of Christ Compels Me.

More than a few people have made jokes about the Obama Shuffle, the Electric Slide and all manner of dances that could breakout at the Inauguration (I'm hoping for Thriller myself). But I think that no one has mentioned the most obvious: The Holy Ghost. To tell a family Secret, I'm scared of the Holy Ghost. You have to be careful who you sit next to in church, you could be putting yourself in harms way. I mean, it just pops up and people wig out. Well, some people. The odds of BHO catching the Holy Spirit in the middle of his speech is roughly 450-1. The odds of someone in the audience? 100%. This will happen. And it will spread like wildfire. My only hope is that the Department of Homeland Security has brought in enough Candy Stripers and Church Fans to contain the situation.

1. I have a job to do.

I cannot stress this enough. I work for a living. A living that would not have been possible without the sacrifices of a lot of people who came before me, many of whom I'll never know by name or face. It's fitting in a way that the day after we take time off to remember the dream, we'll actually get to realize it. It's fitting that some of the same people who were in that same place to hear Dr. King's vision of our future will be there to see that future arrive in it's most obvious way. Of course, we've been building towards this moment for a while now, and now that the moment is here I don't have much else to say about it that hasn't been said already by someone else. Except maybe this: Today's events make the score White Presidents 43, Black Presidents 1. There's been a little too much endzone dancing going, and some folks are acting like it's over and we won. Well, we didn't. I'm going to Detroit today and trust me, there's still plenty of work to be done. BHO isn't the first Black President, he's the only Black President. I'd like to see another someday. But until then, I'm ready to do what I have do for this one and I can't be alone in that effort. It took a shitload of money, effort and dialogue to make this day possible and we can't effort to let up. Otherwise the only thing we really accomplished was breaking up a shutout.

Good reasons, all. But perhaps the best one is that Pregatron is due in three weeks, and I've got my priorities. Top amongst them will be bringing my daughter home from the hospital, turning on the TV and telling her that the President of the United State is Black, and it's been that way her whole Life. If all goes according to plan, she'll smile. We both will.

That's what happens to a dream no longer deferred.